The team. My crack squad. And before you ask — no, I’m never sure which kind of crack I mean either. Depends on the day. Depends on the field report. These are the people I trust with the work, which is a shorter list than you’d think and a weirder list than you’d hope.
CLEARANCE: OPEN · LAST AUDIT: MAR 2026 · SANITY STATUS: PENDING
RC
CRACKPOT-IN-CHIEF
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF · FIELD OPERATIONS · THE ONE WHO STARTED ALL THIS
Offroad recovery specialist turned cryptid researcher. The kind of crackpot who quits a real job to catalog things that don’t exist. Combines fieldwork instincts with a storyteller’s eye and a concerning willingness to drive into remote forests alone at night. Has been doing this long enough that the forests know his truck.
Status: Active · Field clearance: Unrestricted · Last psych eval: Declined
Dr. Mara Vasquez
CRACKPOT (ACADEMIC)
FOLKLORE & CULTURAL CONTEXT · INDIGENOUS KNOWLEDGE SYSTEMS
The one with the PhD who should know better. Traces cryptid accounts through centuries of oral tradition and cultural transmission. Insists we understand the human story before cataloging the creature. Has tenure, which means she can afford to be associated with us. Barely.
Status: Active · Field clearance: Advisory · Academic reputation: Somehow intact
Nolan Greer
CRACKPOT (OPERATIONAL)
EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS · FIELD REPORTS · EQUIPMENT
The skeptic who keeps showing up. Tracks down witnesses, checks their stories, writes it up straight, and then argues with RC about whether any of it means anything. If there’s a credible sighting, he’ll find the person who saw it. If there isn’t, he’ll tell you that too. Nobody likes him for it. Everybody needs him for it.
Status: Active · Field clearance: Full · Disposition: Grumpy but reliable
Sienna Coe
CRACKPOT (MARINE)
MARINE BIOLOGY · AQUATIC CRYPTIDS · COASTAL OPERATIONS
The ocean person. Evaluates cryptid claims against what marine biology actually allows, which is more than most people think. Depoe Bay field station is her jurisdiction. She’s the reason the aquatic sighting database exists, and the reason it keeps her up at night. The water is deeper than the charts say. She knows this personally.
Status: Active · Field clearance: Coastal/Marine · Swim certification: Don’t ask
Ellis Varma
CRACKPOT (DATA)
DATA ANALYSIS · PATTERN RECOGNITION · GEOGRAPHIC MAPPING
Finds patterns the rest of us miss, and some the rest of us wish he hadn’t. Maps sighting clusters, traces historical correlations, runs statistical models at 11 PM and sends emails about them at 2 AM. Recently became concerned that the sighting data clusters in prime numbers. Nobody has been able to talk him out of this.
Status: Active · Field clearance: Analytical · Sleep schedule: Theoretical
Our Standards
Every Cryptidnomicon entry follows a consistent structure: overview, sighting history with primary sources, evidence analysis, ecological assessment, and cultural context. We include threat ratings not because we believe these creatures are necessarily dangerous, but because if they exist, understanding risk is part of responsible documentation.
We also maintain a “Former Cryptids” section — creatures once dismissed as folklore that turned out to be real. The giant squid. The okapi. The platypus. They’re a reminder that the line between myth and zoology has always been thinner than scientists like to admit.
Contact
Got a sighting to report? A correction to an entry? A creature we haven’t covered? Use the submission form or reach us at tips@cryptidnomicon.com
